We’ve all seen it. The ceremonies are there—stand-ups, retrospectives, JIRA boards neatly filled. The sprint clock ticks. Teams move stories across columns. Yet nothing seems to move in the real world.
No production release. No visible customer value. Just motion. That’s what I call Agile theatre. The form is there, the spirit isn’t. And the gap between the two is where efficiency quietly dies.
Agile was never about the rituals. The manifesto didn’t say, “Do stand-ups, run retros, and chase velocity charts.” It spoke about people, interactions, adaptability, and working software in the hands of customers. But somewhere along the way, we equated the presence of rituals with the practice of Agile. And that’s when the cracks appear. You can spot the patterns easily:
- Sprints that end, but nothing ships. Work is “done” in JIRA, but not “done” in production.
- Scope frozen in time. The quarter’s plan is locked; change is unwelcome, no matter what customers say.
- Stand-ups become status reports. Instead of unblocking, it’s a roll call of who did what yesterday.
- Backlogs that never breathe. Priorities set once and carried forward unquestioned.
- Velocity as the only god. Teams chase points, not outcomes.
On the surface, it looks structured. But underneath, it’s the same old Waterfall—just chopped into smaller chunks.
Fake Agile isn’t harmless. It does damage in ways that numbers on a dashboard will never show.
- People burn out. Running sprint after sprint without seeing their work reach users is soul-crushing.
- Trust erodes. Stakeholders lose faith. Customers keep waiting. Leaders wonder where the promised speed went.
- Culture sours. Once teams feel Agile is just theatre, the next transformation—whatever it may be—starts with skepticism.
The hardest part? By the time you realise it, the disillusionment has already set in.
When companies talk about Agile, the promise is always the same: more efficiency, faster delivery, better adaptability. But here’s the uncomfortable truth:
- Velocity isn’t value. You can complete 100 story points and still deliver nothing useful.
- Predictability isn’t adaptability. A roadmap that can’t bend might as well be a contract.
- Rituals aren’t outcomes. The ceremony means nothing if customers don’t see progress.
So the “efficiency” never shows up. Because what’s being optimised isn’t the flow of value—it’s the appearance of progress.
I once saw two teams working in the same company.
Team A looked perfect on paper. Regular sprints. Immaculate dashboards. Velocity going up quarter after quarter. Releases? Twice a year. Customers were frustrated. Stakeholders questioned the spend.
Team B looked chaotic by comparison. Velocity was uneven. Backlogs changed often. But they released every sprint. Sometimes twice. Customers noticed. Stakeholders trusted them. The business impact was visible.
Both were called “Agile.” Only one actually was.
So why do organisations keep falling into this trap? Because theatre is easier. It feels safer. It looks good in a report. Leaders get their sense of control. Teams know how to play along. Tools give the illusion of structure. Nobody has to confront the harder cultural shifts that true agility demands. But the comfort is short-lived. The costs pile up quietly.
The way out isn’t another tool or another checklist. It’s a shift in focus:
- From activity to outcomes.
- From predictability to adaptability.
- From ceremonies to trust and transparency.
- From “looking Agile” to actually being Agile.
That means measuring customer adoption, not story points. It means releasing to production every sprint, not every six months. It means creating space to pivot when the context changes. And most of all, it means remembering why Agile existed in the first place: to bring value to customers faster, and to learn quicker than the competition.
Agile was never the goal. Value was. When Agile becomes theatre, efficiency gains never show up because the wrong thing is being optimised. What we polish is the ritual. What we lose is the impact.
The question isn’t whether you’re Agile. The question is: are you delivering value, or just rehearsing for a play that never premieres?
Cirvesh
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